We are 34 weeks along tomorrow. You are currently moving around in my belly and I can fully distinguish between your arms and your legs. It reminds me of how human you are as opposed to just an idea.
I’ve begun the sleepless nights where I worry about the actual process of becoming a parent. At 25 years old, I still have absolutely no experience with babies. You will be the first baby your dad and I really get to know. Sometimes I’m just at work and I start having daymares (daydreams, except nightmares) that I’ll drop you, smoosh you, or that I’ll just randomly have a stroke and lose the ability to hold you. Terrifying, right? That first night I get to bring you home, as exhausted as I’ll be, I’m pretty sure I’ll just lay there staring at you to make sure you’re alive.
Speaking of bringing you home, dad and I finally found one and signed the lease! I couldn’t be more excited about it. It will be our first apartment as a family. It’s close to downtown San Diego just within a mile or so. There is a farmer’s market right on our street every Saturday where we’ll get fresh produce and homemade hummus. We’re right around the corner from Balboa Park, where I plan on taking you for walks all the time (and eventually jogs in the jogging stroller). The apartment is bright and breezy, with big windows and a skylight. We have a patio that connects our room to yours. When we wake up, we’ll sit out there and rock in a rocking chair so we can feel the summer breeze first thing in the morning. Our living room windows face the city skyline. In the evenings, we’ll watch the sun go down and the silhouettes of the airplanes landing over the city. Sounds pretty perfect, right?! Mom definitely got her way with this one. It’s yet another reason to lay awake all night, excited out of my mind for this next step in our lives.
Luckily, dad said, and I quote, “Whatever you want to do!” when it came to decorating, so I am dying to get started. It will be your Aunt Paige and I’s project together. The pictures above are ideas I’m pulling from. Lots of white, blue, mason jars, sea glass, drift wood, maps, and antique basket treasure chests. I even want to get some vintage oars to cross and hang on the wall above the fireplace or the bed.
We move in May 18th. I will definitely take pictures.
Alright, time for bed. And by bed I mean thinking about you and counting your kicks over and over again. I love you, darling Liam.